So this one time...

I want to have been punched in the face. But I don't want to actually be punched in the face. This is a distinction that many people don't get when I tell them this. The thing I really want is to have a story about the time I was punched in the face.

I fully understand that it would hurt. When I tell someone who has been in a fight, they inevitably say "it really hurts." Yes, I understand this. That's why I don't want to be punched. I want to have been punched in the face.

I've thought about this. A lot. Ideally, it would happen at a bar. Some guy would be drunk and think I was hitting on his girlfriend, and rather than try and resolve the situation civilly he would swing away. I don't want to get into a fight, so I wouldn't try to hit back. Somebody's friends (his or mine) would be there to defuse the situation and it would only result in a story about the time I got punched in the face.

I think this situation would qualify as a "good enough story." Some of my friends volunteer themselves to punch me --some more often than others-- but being hit by a friend just to have been hit doesn't make for a good story. It makes for a terrible story about being punched in the face.

When it happens, I think I'll tell people I fell down a flight of stairs. Then I'll laugh and launch into the fantastic story that I now have. How awesome would that be. I'd call that story The Story About The Time I Got Punched In The Face.