Pants is a Funny Word

"He was wearing a different outfit later in the night."

"He took off his pants and was walking around in his underwear."

"Exactly."

"Pants and no pants are not different outfits."

Quotes About Pants

"This chick was walking around in her bra and panties. I just thought I'd make her comfortable and take off my pants."

"K--- without pants is harder to deal with than K--- with pants."

"I keep my shit together. The only time I've had to be taken care of is when G--- told me to put my pants back on."

This one is true

It was the spring of 2005. Popped collars, while still douchey, were all the rage among the campus bar scene. At Brother's, tired of shouting and trying to read lips, I zoned out holding a bottle and watched the following interaction take place.

Girl, walking to the bathroom, stops in front of a guy talking with his friend. "Oh, hey. What's up," he says, obviously thinking she is into him. She reaches up and un-pops his worn A&F polo. Bleary eyed, she looks him right in the face. "You're not that cool." And walks away.

On the Mullet

It's kind of the opposite of large boobs. Except they both shake. And command attention.