This was an email I got today

I am studying at espresso royale and this 40 year old overweight man with a mustache comes to sit at the table next to me, he turns around and he is wearing a furry leopard-print kitty tail attached to his butt that goes almost to the floor... no joke... think maybe he forgot to remove it from halloween? or it's just his piece of flair ;) nope, he just tucked it in his lap for easier sitting....

Texts From The Other Night

(217) Drunk before 3. gotta bad feeling about tonight !
(540) upset michigan, i think tonight is looking up for all of Champaign.

(217) i have concerns...
(540) No way your night is weirder than mine
(217) I hope you are right about that. have you been propositioned by a midget.
(540) No i'm at some loft party and there's nazi porn on the projector
(217) Okay. obviously we are going to have to exchange stories.
(540) Yes.

(217) Good lord made it home safe and by myself!