2 AM

The night is mine. There’s nobody else around to hear my footsteps as I walk down the street. Sticks underfoot crunch, and I’m the only one who hears it. The few dried leaves left on the trees are rustling in the breeze. The wind is conducting a symphony and I’m the only one in the audience. Not a cloud in the sky. The stars are out, little pinpricks of light and only I am looking up at them. I’m standing, pondering. The world is out just for me.

The moon is in its waning phase. I understand a little about its orbit, why the phases exist, how you can only see one side, the large splotchy seas. But that doesn’t add to the feeling I get from looking up at the moon, shining just for me.

It feels almost like walking at night after a snowfall. Everything is at peace, there’s not a sound except the wind and my footsteps. The world outside is so beautiful and I’m the only one who can see it.

I put on my hat before I left. My coat was hanging on the doorknob in the hallway, and I tied my scarf after I locked the door on the way out. It is cold outside, but that just adds to the feeling. The cold and the dark cover the night like a blanket. They’re a pair. The atmosphere wouldn’t be the same without the cold, and the clear crispness that comes with.

I don’t even feel the cold though. I’m thinking about her. About the time she and I laid on the grass and looked at the stars. The time we stood on the bow of a boat in the pitch black, in silence because the wind was blowing so hard, and watched lightning flash in the distance. The first time she leaned over and kissed me, and the second time when I leaned down and kissed her. It’s not that the thoughts of her make me feel all warm inside. When I’m thinking about her suddenly it’s summer and we’re lying on the grass, we’re in the middle of the ocean, we’re lying next to each other in her room.

The night isn’t mine anymore. It belongs to me and my thoughts. The wind, the darkness, the cold, the leaves, the solitude. They’re giving me this present. Giving me my memories, making me happy. I’m with her even though I can’t be.