Impractical Joke?

So I was thinking as a joke, I'm gonna have a child.

Lehman Frères

"I want the government going over their books like a catholic priest and a ten year old boy."

Casting Stones

Don't tell me you haven't woken up in the morning and gone DAMN.
'Cause I know every one of you all have. And if you haven't, well
then your life sucks.

The Greatest Analogy

Remembering analogies like this is why I did so well on my English SATs:

"Experimental lesbians are like T-Rexes; they can't see you if you don't move."

Reasons I Wish I Had My Camera Today

And substitute illustrations thanks to flickr.

1. There was a snake outside the library. I don't usually see snakes
in my day to day business.

2. At the coffee shop the lady in line in front of me was an Ariana
Huffington lookalike. She might have actually been Ariana Huffington.

3. While I drank my coffee, a minimum of 4 (four) hipster girls walked
by wearing Wayfarers or Wayfarer lookalikes.

4. At lunch, I turned the Wayfarer-spotting into a game, and collected a minimum of four (4) more girls and 3 (three) guys sporting the look.

On My Honor

Sorry, I was going to call and warn you, but then you got here before I had a chance.

Don't worry about it. There's really no point in warning me; I'm always prepared. I'm like a boyscout. Except I don't know how to tie knots.

Notes Passed At School

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