Friday, May 14, 2010

Lehman Frères

"I want the government going over their books like a catholic priest and a ten year old boy."

Casting Stones

Don't tell me you haven't woken up in the morning and gone DAMN.
'Cause I know every one of you all have. And if you haven't, well
then your life sucks.

Friday, May 7, 2010

The Greatest Analogy

Remembering analogies like this is why I did so well on my English SATs:

"Experimental lesbians are like T-Rexes; they can't see you if you don't move."

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Reasons I Wish I Had My Camera Today

And substitute illustrations thanks to flickr.

1. There was a snake outside the library. I don't usually see snakes
in my day to day business.

2. At the coffee shop the lady in line in front of me was an Ariana
Huffington
lookalike. She might have actually been Ariana Huffington.

3. While I drank my coffee, a minimum of 4 (four) hipster girls walked
by wearing Wayfarers or Wayfarer lookalikes.

4. At lunch, I turned the Wayfarer-spotting into a game, and collected a minimum of four (4) more girls and 3 (three) guys sporting the look.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

On My Honor

Sorry, I was going to call and warn you, but then you got here before I had a chance.

Don't worry about it. There's really no point in warning me; I'm always prepared. I'm like a boyscout. Except I don't know how to tie knots.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Notes Passed At School

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Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Unfinished Ideas

From my little notebook, ideas that have yet to be fully developed.

1,2,3, Steve. That is a terrible PBS show.

www.ImOnGlennsPhone.com

The look on his face was a little like rapist.

She's 28 years old. She's pretty fucking old.

You haven't lived if you haven't had a guy grind on you.

"Some people actually meet women they want to marry." married guy: "I don't know any of these people."

My mom showed up unannounced one morning. I lived with a guy who dealt pot for a living. And a guy who smoked pot for a living.

...And I chaffed my boob on my sports bra today.